May 2010
22 posts
“[“It’s an honor to dance with you”] - Party A
Yes it is. I...”
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pantsing
Do kids still pants one another? Who taught us that it was wildly funny to pants one another?
Pantsing was all the rage when I was in the ‘90’s. Pants to the ground everyday, all day. Oddly, this particular hobby seemed to fade away after high school. What happened? Didn’t we all pants each other in high school? Why did we all collectively stop when we got to college?
One...
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hd vision
The Mrs. and I were in CVS a few weeks ago and check out the shades that I picked up. Yea, the SAME design as the pair my father-in-law got after his “Cadillac” surgery (aka cataract surgery for those who don’t read in Chinglish).
Except mine have yellow lenses. Yellow lenses are the stupidest idea for sunglasses. They make everything brighter. I’m cruising around, and...
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Sitting With Marina By ARTHUR C. DANTO →
I wonder about performance art. Which makes me wonder about fine arts. Which makes me wonder about art. Which makes me wonder about what happened to my peanut butter sandwich…Oh, I ate it, yummm.
Seriously though, I get mixed feelings inside of myself when I think about performance art. What differentiates someone sitting in a museum atrium as art, and someone sitting in a park as homeless?...
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demo this
Today’s agenda consisted of playing UFC Undisputed 2010 for 9 hours in my “home” uniform. Of course, I never buy games, so I’ve been playing the demo. I am ashamed of myself.
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“Your thighs are too powerful.”
– The tailor during my suit fitting.
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lava!
Picture of me, surfing in Hawaii, not photoshopped in any way.
When me and my sister were younger. We used to get piano lessons from a little, old Chinese lady. Since I was a prodigy, she couldn’t teach us both at the same time. I fondly remember throwing everything off of the couches (pillows and cushions) to play, LAVA!
The point of the game is to get across the room without touching...
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evacuate the dance floor
Today, I had to evacuate my work building. Apparently, there was a chlorine leak. I knew installing a pool on the fourth floor was a bad idea.
In other news: Wifey and I wandered into a Chinese movie store last night. Bootleg DVDs throughout and we picked up Shinjuku Incident, a Jackie Chan production. Legend has it that the movie is “too violent for China” and was never released...
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Cheaper Than a Cup of Joe: McDonalds Secret... →
Everyone in America knows what a Big Mac is… but not too many know about the McGangBang! The following are actual items sold at McDonalds… just not on the menu. Enjoy! Good Luck!
McKinely Mac - A Big Mac with quarter pounder patties.
Fries with Big Mac Sauce - Fries smothered in Big…
Land, Sea, and Air Burger - Three different patties (beef, chicken, and fillet-o-fish) all in one...
May God Have Mercy on your Soul...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Here’s what the teacher had to say:
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casa di Felipe
When the husband cooks dinner. Hold on to your pants, because we’re about to get fancy:
Sausage and cheese platter:
1 Hillshire Farms Beer Brat
1 Slice of Kraft American Cheese
Slice brat into small pieces and put one slice of cheese on top
Microwave for 30 seconds, then 20 seconds, then 15 seconds.
Don’t question the chef.
Shells in a white cheddar cream sauce
Discard...
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kung fu
Yesterday, I took the wifey out to a fancy dinner at the Golden Arches. While we were waiting in line I showed her some of my kung-fu. She was impressed. I showed her all the good stuff: Himalayan arm bar, screaming lemur finger lock, etc. (see photo above of me starring in Bloodsport 3:The Musical). The kind of stuff that would make Mr. Miyagi proud, may he rest in peace. Needless to say, the...
the life of a wife: The Emotional Roller Coaster... →
He shakes his fist in the air and shouts with envy and despair, “How do these people know so much? How do they know so much trivia!!??I!”
1 minute later…
He shouts at the television, “Warren Buffet! Warren Buffet!!!!!!!” *doodoodoo!* Alex Trebek calmly responds, “Warren Buffet.” The…
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roomba
Let’s be clear. Robots are awesome.
Last night, a trusty robot kept a steady breeze coming into my bedroom. (Much appreciated by the Mrs. because I sweat profusely, especially when I’m slaying ninjas in my dreams.) Contemplate the awesomeness of robots. Prior to the robotic fan, some clown had to wave a giant tree leaf to make a breeze. Even Solomon, in all his riches, didn’t...
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