that song stuck in your head

Preface: keys to the lamborghini

When your wife is mad at you…

Always maintain physical contact. Doesn’t matter how you do it, anything will suffice. Here are some suggested suggestions. 

• Hold her cold shoulder 
• Put your hand on the small of her back
• Drape your massive calves over her torso
• Touch your toe to her face

The calves thing works well for me because I have calves the size of twin mastodons. She eventually forgives me in exchange for the ability to breathe. Also, the toe thing works best when I’m engulfed in NBA 2K10. That way, I don’t have to let go of the controller. 

Disclaimer: Try these things at your own risk of being slapped, kneed, etc. These strategies only work for me because I have a loving, caring, understanding wife. (~_^ +1 brownie points). 

Edit: I’ve been told that if I put my toe in her face, she will punch it. That suggestion has since been retracted.