that song stuck in your head

Yesterday, some of you may have wondered, “why does my butt itch? what happened to bedtime story #2?” Well, here it is, my friends:

Franz was a pudgy, little boy. Because of his plump persona, his parents never let him have any delicious, Swiss chocolate. 

One afternoon, Franz was romping through the forest and he caught a glimmer in the distance. When he approached the sparkle, he saw the most interesting house that he had ever seen. In the first window, it was pure night and he could see shooting stars. In the second window, it was a bright day, full of sunshine. In the last window, a rainbow was wrestling a polar bear. 

Franz crept into the house and hid behind a giant vase. Inside, there was a wizard, all covered in chocolate syrup. ALAKAZAAM! Chocolate pieces exploded all over the house, and made a big mess. The wizard stormed out of the room in frustration. 

One piece of chocolate fell by Franz’s foot. He thought to himself, “it can’t hurt to try one piece.” He took the chocolate and quickly put it in his mouth. The savory sensation was like nothing Franz had ever tasted before. 

He then left the wizard’s house and headed home. He must have taken a wrong turn because he wandered to the wizard’s house again. In the first window, night-time. In the second window, day-time. In the last window, a rainbow wrestling a polar bear.

Hoping for another piece of chocolate, he crept into the house and hid behind the vase. ALAKAZOOM! To his delight, chocolate exploded all over the house. He thought to himself, “it can’t hurt to have another piece.” The tantalizing sensation rushed through his body again and he squealed with excitement. 

The wizard rushed into the room and saw Franz behind the vase. Franz panicked and rushed out of the house. He scampered and scurried all the way home. Out of breath, he stumbled into his home. Oddly, everything seemed out of place. The cabinets were taller, the shelves were higher. Then he saw his mother, staring at him, holding a broom. He was confused because she looked frightened.  

SWEEP! Franz’s mother beat him with the broom and swept right him out the door. Afraid, Franz ran back into the forest. He ran and ran until BOOM! He rushed through the wizard’s front door. 

This time, the wizard was waiting for him. With an evil cackle, the wizard scooped him up and slammed him into a cage. The wizard bellowed, “you ate my chocolate, and now, I’m going to eat you, you pudgy thief!” Franz could feel that the cage was being lowered into a bubbling cauldron. When he looked down into the vat of oil, he saw that his face looked like a rat’s face. He looked behind him and he saw that he had the tail of a fox. Franz started to screech. 

He began to feel the oil burning his fur. First his hands. He screamed. Then, his arms. He shrieked. Then, he felt the oil scald his belly. He let out a final, hopeless howl. 

In a cold sweat, Franz shot up from his own bed. It was all a dream. It was then that he knew he should have listened to his parents. Chocolate was not for a pudgy, little boy like him. 

I’m planning to submit this bedtime story as a parenting tool. What do you think?